July 05, 2018

Letters to Russians: Yevgeny V. Prigozhin, Putin's Cook

Letter to Yevgeny V. Prigozhin: Putin's Cook. 




Dear Mr. Prigozhin, 


So, You were born in 1961 and graduated from an athletic based boarding school with aspirations of becoming a Champion Cross Country Skier and made Your way to being indicted in Mueller's Investigation. How did this happen? I'd like to explore. Walk with Me for a moment... So You graduate and give up. Only to end up in a Russian Prison for robbery as part of an organized crime group, fraud and the prostitution of minors...


Holy, Drop out of Sports to join a gang, Batman! What happened there? Child Prostitution? Dude. You were 20 at the time. Geez. OK.. Whatever. You served 9 years in a Russian Prison thinking about it. I would hope You came out of the experience a better person.. Moving on... 




You get out of prison and open a chain of hot dog stands with Your Step Father. OK. This sounds promising. It looks as though Prison gave You a new outlook on life and You want a successful business. You move on to managing a chain of grocery markets. That's admirable. You open two fancy restaurants The Old Custom House and New Island attracting State and National Politicians and Businessmen to plan and execute nefarious activities in private eventually hosting Putin in 2001. Uh Oh. This business success story is beginning to feel sinister. 



You make in roads through Putin's personal staff eventually scoring government catering contracts through Concord Catering including Dmitsky Medvedev's Presidential inauguration ceremony. Moving on up the corporate ladder are We? Great! Feed the Rich and Famous. Cool. But then You scored the contract to feed Russian school children with Concord Culinary Line but immediately had Mothers fighting You for serving their Children processed food full of preservatives. I'm starting to see a pattern here. Do You not like Children? 




Moving On. You fed soldiers and built military bases near Ukraine, but that didn't work out very well. You sent private soldiers into Syria to guard gas fields and a lot of them died. Man. Maybe You should stick to just food. I'm just saying. 

In 2013, You became the head of the Troll Factory AKA The Internet Research Agency to spread false narratives through social media platforms in the USA before the 2016 election to rig the election in favor of Trump. Dude. Why? Wait.... You were responsible for #ColubianChemicals #EbolaInAtlanta and #ShockingMurderInAtlanta all associated with completely false stories about an ISIS attack, a deadly communicable disease and murder? I'm starting the think You are an asshole. Seriously. You get Asshole points for this stuff. 

Those three campaigns alone freaked out a whole lot of People and hijacked the news cycle for a very long time. You suck. No wonder You personally got sanctions placed on You and Your businesses. Man. What a break. I don't really feel bad for You. 



See, here's the thing. You are just a Guy making very bad decisions. There is a never a bad time to make better choices. I know money is fun and You have lots of pretty toys, but You are an asshole. No one really likes assholes, especially assholes with money. That's why You personally got sanctioned by the US Government. 
Now You have been indicted by Robert Mueller and the US Special Council. Maybe now is the time to make the changes necessary to make You a well rounded, emotionally intelligent loving Human Being who doesn't suck. 



I can see You would rather go mine gold in Sudan rather than be a better Human Being. I feel as though You aren't really going to try to be less of an asshole anytime soon. I feel as though You do not want to try to find sustainability, only more money.Well, that sucks, Mr. Prigozhin. It would be better for Humanity as a whole if You would stop all activities hurting or destroying Life. Doing good things is more important than money. Please. Just go back to cooking. 

Signed, 

The Other Kids in the Sandbox.



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